Love is patient

So today I begin expounding on this Bible passage in relation to how my son has taught me how to love. Patience is the capacity to tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without becoming angry or upset.

God made us all in different ways so it might be a normal thing for some people to be very patient. It was very hard for me to wait for someone as they did their growing up thing. I usually expected people to handle things as I thought they should and I wasn’t so nice to them if they took their time and did it their own way. I preferred to call it tough love. My friend Joy will tell you that wasn’t nice. She’s seen that side of me a trillion times and it messed with our friendship. 

Baby is born

Enter Ryan. I can’t do what I want with him since I have to follow his lead. Feed on demand, carry him while standing up (I don’t know why babies like this because I still see some of my friends doing this), sing a lullaby or rock him to sleep, change diaper when required, put him down for a nap and the list goes on.

I couldn’t make him do what I wanted and I had to patiently work with him on his own terms. That was a great lesson right there! I can’t count the number of times I felt frustrated because Ryan wanted to keep going and I had something else to do. There’s a time I was up to my neck in assignments (I was going to school) and Ryan woke up at around 11pm. I had to give him some papers to tear up (tactile pleasure of books?) lest he tears up my assignments. We ended up sleeping at around 3am.

More patient and understanding

Over time I have become a little more relaxed and I let people do their thing. I have become a better listener and I credit that to the fact that my son speaks A LOT and he stutters. The stuttering is not that serious but he may come to you with a very serious look on his face or I could probably be in a hurry and he comes to my ear to tell me something and all I hear is one word and then another after a few seconds. Or the same word broken into a number of parts.

It used to frustrate me at first but my reaction would kill his little spirit (which is in no way little by the way) so I decided to stop and listen until he’s done. It’s become the norm now and most people know that my son is my first priority. If he comes and wants to talk and it seems urgent, I will gladly drop it all and listen to him quietly or with guiding questions. This has greatly improved his confidence and he doesn’t hesitate to talk to strangers wherever we go, as long as I’m somewhere close by.

I may still be a little impatient once in a while (especially when adults keep repeating the same mistakes and giving excuses instead of solutions) but I’m sure that I’m headed in the right direction. Slowly by slowly, my Lord is moulding me through this love.