When I found out I was pregnant my mind went totally numb. My best friend had taken me for the test and when the results came back she reacted much worse than I did. I think the lab guy was wondering who's urine sample he had tested.
It sunk in later when we got home that this was actually true and I began my trip down guilt and shame lane. How could I have gotten pregnant? (Don't answer that). How was I going to tell my best friend's mum? (I was visiting with them at the time so there's no way I would leave without spilling the beans). How was I going to tell MY OWN mum? My father? Out of the question!
With my best friend's help we told her mum (though I think she did more talking than I did). After that it was time to go home and face Mama. I stayed home pondering what to do, all the time receiving encouragement and advice from my best friend and her mum.
They realized I was taking too long and dilly dallying so my best friend's mum offered to tell my mum for me. That jolted me a little and I decided to tell my mum. I went out and sent her an email. She read it after 2 weeks and she called me for 'coffee' that day.
Needless to say we had no coffee. We met and the torrent of abuse began. Thankfully my mum is not big on abusive words so they weren't so bad.
A week or two before that I'd gone to visit a doctor to ask about abortion and the discussion freaked me out. He was so calm and went like 'Why did you stay this long? It becomes harder to get rid of it as it grows you know' and that pissed me off. How could he be so uncaring and cold about such a sensitive issue?
Fast forward back to my mum. To get out of the whole 'drama' I told her I'd made an appointment with a doctor so it would be 'sorted'. Then after that I wondered what kind of person I was to want to kill someone innocent. I only fought once in Primary School (ok, my mum doesn't know that but it doesn't count anymore, right?) so I wasn't a violent person.
I prayed for courage that night and while making breakfast the next morning I told my mum that I wanted to keep the baby. Why? Because this baby was a part of me. If anything went wrong with an abortion I'm the one who would have to face the bleeding out or death or messing with my reproductive system. My first miracle with this baby happened that day. Mum said 'It'll be hard but I will help you get through it'.
I was due for campus in May and this happened in February or March so we agreed that I would go ahead with school.
I waited patiently for my next phase of life in campus.
