Love is not rude

You know I am human and as much as I am born-again and Christ lives in me, I have moments when I don’t really feel like being nice. It may be out of anger, malice (very rarely) or just for the sake of it but it happens and I know I’m not alone so don’t get all judgemental on me.

You find nasty words coming out even when the other person hasn’t really taken that route themselves. Your lips are itching to dish out some more but the opportunity doesn’t present itself as often as you’d like it to. Someone finally crosses your path and you only give one statement and they wonder what side of the bed you woke up on. Now imagine if the other person takes on you as well. What chaos that would be!

Verbal accidents

Many are the times I’ve let something slip from my mouth and later on regretted saying it the way I did. It gets especially worse when my hormones start doing a funny dance and I find myself craving fries and chocolate at the same time. Not-so-nice words just find their way into my vocabulary and it gets real messy.

My son once told me that I was ‘talking to him badly’ and that’s why he wouldn’t say anything else to me. He was convinced that I didn’t love him. On one side my pride was hurt because I am the adult after all and here I was being chastised by a 4 year-old but on the other side I had a proud mommy moment because it was proof that I had done a good job of raising him! That calmed me down a bit and got me back to my senses. I looked at all the words I had used and the tone and he was right.

Losses

Rudeness doesn’t convey love at all. It doesn’t matter whether you are going through an ‘emotional phase’ or your house just burnt down. Whatever is going on in your life may indeed affect your outlook and behaviour but it shouldn’t control it. Rudeness goes ahead and flattens all resistance you may face but the result afterwards is great loss.

You will lose respect, love, friendships, relationships and even clients because of rudeness. It doesn’t take much time either. Just two seconds and it’s out of your mouth and you’ve lost that person. I had to take time to build my son’s trust again so that he would be comfortable talking to me without expecting me to lash out at him or say something rude.

Energy well spent

Practicing it on other people has helped me a lot and it’s now easier to approach people for something. Some even offer themselves and their services/assistance without me having to ask because there’s no negative vibe coming from me.

I make a conscious effort to keep my tongue in check at all times. A nasty word comes into my head and I quickly replace it with something nicer before it leaves my mouth or I simply don’t say a thing. Just smile courteously or give little indication that nasty is a possibility with me. The moment eventually passes and life goes on. It does take a lot of energy and effort though! But His grace is sufficient!