Love Doesn’t Keep a Record of Wrongs

Human is to error and every time someone does something wrong they will probably say, ‘I’m only human’. This happens a lot in everyday life but with people you live with it happens ten times more often because you spend a lot of time with them.

My boy is a pre-schooler right now and has been an active child all his life. When he discovered his feet could walk he has never quite stopped. It started with pulling down dish racks and table cloths that had glassware on them, plugging in the immersion heater and switching it on while it was lying on a wooden table instead of inside a container with some water, drowning my phone in his bath water while I was sorting out his outfit for the day and when he started reasoning he told me he would like me to cook for him instead of getting takeout (In my defence, I was extremely tired that day and it was late).

Of candid talks

It has been five years of all that and more and I’m sure I’ve done my share of wrongs. He once didn’t want to say much to me because he said I ‘talked to him badly’.  I’d reprimanded him for something but he wasn’t very pleased about the way I told him off. So I had to learn how to offer correction in a nicer and more effective way.

It has born fruits because right now we talk about everything and he tells me what’s on his mind. When he does something wrong I offer my unsolicited advice and correction and he gladly returns the favour every so often. We, however, don’t bring it up again once it has been dealt with. We offer our apologies and it ends there.

This has brought quite a lot of harmony in our home because we live in the present and not the past. We try to be great company to each other and when I feel I may snap I try to keep away or at least keep my cool. He’ll probably ask me why I look sad and I’ll probably tell him ‘it’s nothing I’ll be fine’ and a short while later I sure will be fine.

Motherhood brings with it a certain kind of grace that allows you to deal with and overlook all the minor mishaps and wrongs and leads you to focus on the greater good. This is so refreshing especially in a world where there is so much chaos, hatred and violence. Everyone isfighting to be heard, seen, loved and appreciated but others don’t quite get to catch a break.

What do you do with your emotions?

Look at how you handle your children, your spouse and even your colleagues. Are you always pointing out what they did wrong? Do you remind them of the coffee stain they left on your desk or your white shirt? How do they react to you afterwards? How is your relationship? What do they really think of you? Is it respect, fear or indifference that you get from them? Is it really worth it? Think about it and act accordingly.

Don’t think about what they’ve done to you because that’s water under the bridge now. The past is gone and will never come back. Even if it will be replayed there will probably be a small twist somewhere and you will be wiser, no? Two wrongs never made a right (apart from in Math and language where two negatives make a positive) so take responsibility for your side of the coin because you can’t blame someone else for your actions or reactions yet you carried them out yourself and of your own accord. Be the bigger person and take the high road.